Poems about Gordon Ramsay

An Amy's Baking Company Poem

Fri, 24 May 2013 12:44:15 -0400

these reviewers
these BLOGGERS
everything i have is going back where it belongs
and that’s it.
it’s not all daisies
and ponies
and unicorns.

don’t come back, madame.
you just keep walking
if you came to eat to enjoy
than you should know what you like to eat.

wait a minute i heard u made a book or something like that pls tell me more

Wed, 22 May 2013 16:41:20 -0400

Great question! I’m in the process of making a collection of these poems (and some I haven’t posted) with some artwork, and self-publishing it at my apartment (because I live in San Francisco and don’t make a whole lot of money to have some fancy printing press churn them out). I’m also juggling my entire life so it’s taking a while. BUT I PROMISE it’s in the works and will be released!

A Gordon Ramsay Poem

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 11:49:13 -0400

medium rare, it’s not.
medium well?
on the verge of well done.
oh GOD
it’s so annoying
thank you
goodbye

“I took some of my favorite Gordon Ramsay poems and...

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 18:40:07 -0400

“I took some of my favorite Gordon Ramsay poems and decided to summon all my artistic skill to create this masterpiece.”

Whoever did this (tumblr on ipad is fucking weird) will be my new son because I love them like a son now.

Are you going to ship internationally? I NEED THAT BOOK

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 13:47:30 -0400

yes! (it’ll obviously cost a little bit more to ship)

it’s fuckin coming

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 17:19:32 -0400

it’s fuckin coming

A Gordon Ramsay Poem

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 00:02:21 -0400

This is the dream sauce
what are those crumbs under there?
why is everything so dirty here?
there’s crap everywhere
i mean just crumbs
and hairs
like congealed snot

A Gordon Ramsay Poem

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 19:25:18 -0400

are you that stupid?
nothing
no ones talking
no ones saying anything
this fish right here
what’s it for?
this is carnage.

A Gordon Ramsay Poem

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 11:52:11 -0400

no wonder your hair’s sticking up
it’s not even warm
it’s raw

BOOK.

Wed, 27 Feb 2013 11:02:01 -0500

BOOK. WORKIN ON IT. ALSO I GOT MARRIED. THAT WAS TIME CONSUMING. BUT BOOK. THERE WILL BE A BOOK. IT’S COMING I PROMISE.

Oceans of Risotto

Sat, 29 Dec 2012 21:36:03 -0500

You, you

This fucking risotto

Is so fucking soggy

I could swim in it

Fuck off.

THIS SHIT IS HILARIOUSL IEM CRY8ING YOUR A GGENIUSA I CANT HW AHAHO;IGVAKJBGVIU;OANAKLSJDNHF DHELP AI ACANT BREAITHEE ITHS THE UCKING RISOTTOA AANGARINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Wed, 19 Dec 2012 20:36:20 -0500

ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

you still taking art submissions for the book?

Sun, 16 Dec 2012 11:28:00 -0500

I am! I’m going to extend it till the end of the month. gordonramsaypoetry@gmail.com. I keep forgetting about the holidays.

fucking hell.your fucking mushrooms.they look like tadpoles on viagra.

Wed, 12 Dec 2012 10:48:49 -0500

fucking hell.
your fucking mushrooms.
they look like tadpoles on viagra.

thanksgivingwhat a wonderful timeto go fuck yourself and the...

Thu, 22 Nov 2012 11:37:10 -0500

thanksgiving
what a wonderful time
to go fuck yourself and the bland raw donkey
you rode in on.

Is there a deadline to send you the pictures by?

Thu, 15 Nov 2012 23:53:38 -0500

Let’s say by December 15th

HEY YOU BLAND PILES OF RUBBISH can you draw? are you good at...

Thu, 15 Nov 2012 15:44:35 -0500

HEY YOU BLAND PILES OF RUBBISH

can you draw? are you good at drawing? are you ACTUALLY good at drawing?

Are you good at drawing Gordon Ramsay being really pissed off and looking ridiculous?

I’m currently designing You Donkey: A Book of Gordon Ramsay Poems and I can’t draw for shit. I need illustrations!

Submit your drawings and you’ll be in the book. You’ll be credited, it’ll be IN the book*, and you’ll get a free copy. I’ll also throw in a candy bar or something.

Send your shit to gordonramsaypoetry@gmail.com

*it’s not a promise, if you send me a smiley face with a frown and a talk bubble that says “fook off” I will obviously not put it in the book.

A Gordon Ramsay Poem

Sun, 04 Nov 2012 15:20:56 -0500

he just dropped the chicken on the floor
and put it back in the pan
this one here
you guys (you guys)
look like a bunch
of fucking idiots

A Gordon Ramsay Poem

Sun, 21 Oct 2012 04:47:48 -0400

you
youyou,you you
you
c’mere, you
what do you think you’re doing
you.

are we gonna see any hotel hell poems?

Tue, 11 Sep 2012 22:38:48 -0400

Probably! MasterChef and Hell’s Kitchen is over now so yeah