A Gordon Ramsay Poem
medium rare, it’s not.
medium well?
on the verge of well done.
oh GOD
it’s so annoying
thank you
goodbye
A Gordon Ramsay Poem
This is the dream sauce
what are those crumbs under there?
why is everything so dirty here?
there’s crap everywhere
i mean just crumbs
and hairs
like congealed snot
A Gordon Ramsay Poem
are you that stupid?
nothing
no ones talking
no ones saying anything
this fish right here
what’s it for?
this is carnage.
A Gordon Ramsay Poem
no wonder your hair’s sticking up
it’s not even warm
it’s raw
thanksgiving
what a wonderful time
to go fuck yourself and the bland raw donkey
you rode in on.
HEY YOU BLAND PILES OF RUBBISH
can you draw? are you good at drawing? are you ACTUALLY good at drawing?
Are you good at drawing Gordon Ramsay being really pissed off and looking ridiculous?
I’m currently designing You Donkey: A Book of Gordon Ramsay Poems and I can’t draw for shit. I need illustrations!
Submit your drawings and you’ll be in the book. You’ll be credited, it’ll be IN the book*, and you’ll get a free copy. I’ll also throw in a candy bar or something.
Send your shit to gordonramsaypoetry@gmail.com
*it’s not a promise, if you send me a smiley face with a frown and a talk bubble that says “fook off” I will obviously not put it in the book.
A Gordon Ramsay Poem
he just dropped the chicken on the floor
and put it back in the pan
this one here
you guys (you guys)
look like a bunch
of fucking idiots
A Gordon Ramsay Poem
you
youyou,you you
you
c’mere, you
what do you think you’re doing
you.
A Gordon Ramsay Poem
Where are we going?
Where are we going with this?
Are we going deep south?
Exactly 60 minutes to go.
